Calling Etiquette During the Gilded Age

During the Gilded Age, the use of calling cards, also known as visitor cards, was universally observed and were an important part of society.  It served as a  passport into important social circles. Strict etiquette dictated on whom to call, when to call, and how to call. These lessons were necessary knowledge for gentlemen and ladies hoping to gain or maintain social status during the Gilded Age. 

A look into President Hayes' personal library reveals any number of guidebooks on correct etiquette and manuals on politeness.  As early as 1860, Hayes owned a manual of customs. It claimed the best English and French authorities not only gave instruction on proper calling, but also correct manners at the table, at evening parties, and even in the ballroom. Respectable dress, conversation, and correspondence were addressed as well.

                        

Hayes Presidential Library and Museums

Both Lucy and Rutherford were well schooled in proper social protocol during their upbringing and while attending college. As a rising young lawyer, military officer, congressman, and later governor of Ohio, navigating these Gilded Age niceties was essential. By the time the couple reached the White House they were well prepared for Washington society. 

 

Those who called on the President were job seekers, tourists, gift givers, policy makers, military men, and socialites extending  invitations to Washington gatherings. More than 18,000 calling cards received by the Hayeses during their years at the White House are today part of the collection.  You can read the names of these callers on the Hayes Presidential website. Nearly all are on white or cream paper and bear names and other information in elegant script. Some feature a black border, indicating the bearer was in mourning.

Etiquette, 1877

If the President or First Lady were unavailable, the caller left his personal card on a silver tray with the secretary, valet, or doorman. Sometimes callers jotted a short note on the reverse of their card.

Women carried their visiting cards in cases in their purses or handbags. A day of the week such as "Tuesdays" was often inscribed on the bottom of the card, indicating the day she was at home to receive calls from friends and acquaintances. Women could select from an array of styles in the latest fashions in calling cards displayed at stationery shops.

Upon Lucy’s arrival in Washington, society columnists commented on what changes she surely would make in her hair style, dress, and demeanor. But the First Lady remained unchanged - outwardly and inwardly. Her calling cards were simple but elegant.

Compassionate, cheerful, gracious, and possessed of a quiet confidence, Lucy showered kindness on visitors, family, friends, children, and the sick. She remained steadfast in her decision to avoid liquor at social functions. The Hayeses entertained African Americans at the White house. And Lucy was the first First Lady to attend an African American fundraising event. It would be 13 years before another First Lady did so.

When President Hayes returned to Spiegel Grove in Fremont, Ohio, he continued the social tradition of calling. On the first of January in 1886, he visited nearby neighbors and friends. He wrote in his diary about their infirmities, temperament, and shared memories. When he visited General Buckland, he noted that all these years later, Buckland still took pride in his actions at Shiloh during the Civil War. It was a "chatty" time with Auntie Grant (widow of George Grant, who was an early partner of Hayes' uncle) and her daughter Sarah. When Mr. Van Doren arrived, they discussed the booming oil wells near Findlay, Ohio.  A visit with Mrs. Thompson brought back memories of boarding at her establishment "40 years ago."  He found old Dr. Rawson still fit and with a sharp mind.  

It seems this Gilded Age tradition was a firmly entrenched social custom of President Hayes. Even after Lucy's death, he continued to record his New Year's Day calls.